Dead Silence
by Connie Nervegas
Summary: Donatello discovers that silence is not always golden.


Dead Silence

_I was reading about the Palermo mummies today, so the facts just happened to be in my brain. It was a happy coincidence._

_The Catacombs of Palermo are full of secrets and also some of the best preserved mummies in the world. Little two year old Rosalia died in the 1920's but still looks like she is only taking a nap. Her skin is porcelain. Her blond ringlets still curl around her temples and are topped with a perfect pink bow. The secrets of…_

"Raph, come here now!" Leo cried as he stormed across the lair, slamming three doors in a row. Donatello looked up from his book, the catacombs of Italy dissolving around him.

"Go to hell!" Raph said. There was a loud thud and click as Raph slammed the bedroom door and the lock closed after him.

"Raph, there's some guy called Larry the Weasel outside. He's carrying a sledgehammer and asking for directions to the Hamato house!"

Raph's voice said from inside the bedroom, "Tell him I'm dead."

Donatello stared blankly at the page, trying to drown out the noise. "Mikey."

Michelangelo vaulted over the couch and landed at Donatello's side. "What's up?"

"Tell Felix and Oscar to shut up. I'm trying to read."

"DON WANTS YOU GUYS TO BE **QUIET!**"

Don winced as his brother screamed directly in his ear. Mikey pulled out a video game controller and planted himself in front of the television.

_The secrets of the Palermo Catacombs have been lost for many years. But there are many things that we do know. The catacombs were founded by the Capuchin monks who were exclusively interred in the catacombs until the 18__th__ century. Then…_

"I already told that guy that you're dead three times. Seems like he would get a hint."

Raph came out of the bedroom. "Is he gone?"

"Yeah, I told him that you're dead because there's a gas leak. And the next time I say it, it'll be true."

"Oh, yeah?"

Donatello wondered if he would be able to mummify his brothers. "Mike, go tell them to take it outside."

"GUYS, DON WANTS YOU GUYS TO GO OUTSIDE IF YOU'RE GOING TO YELL!"

_Then increasingly large numbers of residents requested to be interred in the Capuchin Catacombs. Extravagant grave goods, poses and clothing were used as status symbols for the dead. The catacombs are filled with thousands of preserved bodies, some standing in niches, others sitting in rocking chairs. The best preserved…_

Donatello recognized Raphael's voice grating through his concentration. "WELL, I HOPE YOU DO DIE! THEN I CAN HAVE THE GOOD SIDE OF THE BEDROOM!"

"WELL, WHEN YOU DIE THEN I'LL HAVE YOUR STEREO AND YOU'RE CORPSE CAN ROT IN THE SEWER FOR ALL I CARE!"

Don kicked Mike in the shell. "Go tell them to shut up and that if they die I'll have them both stuffed so that I can dress them up in funny outfits and take pictures."

"BUTCH!" Mike yelled.

"WHAT!" answered Raph.

"**SHUT UP!"**

Splinter sat on the couch next to Don. "Good evening, my son."

"Hey, sensei. Your whiskers are kinda droopy. What's wrong?" Don tried to hide the pictures of half preserved corpses that covered the pages of the book.

Leonardo had Raphael in a headlock and was swinging his back and forth yelling, "WHEN YOU DIE I'M GOING TO INCINERATE YOU IN A WINO'S BURNING BARREL AND THEN SPREAD YOU ASHES IN THE TOILET!"

"Why don't you and Mike go for a walk, sensei?" Don asked.

"Michelangelo, would you care to accompany me on a stroll?"

Mikey sighed and threw down his controller. "Okay. Don't turn it off though. I have it paused."

Raphael broke free of Leonardo's grasp and flung him into the wall, grinding his face into the brick with his elbow. Splinter and Michelangelo casually walked past them as they left for their walk. Splinter said, "Leonardo, Rapael, please remember to wash the dishes and do not overheat the Tephlon frying pan."

"Tell me that you'll mourn me forever and ever and name all your children after me. Even the girls!" Raph said as he ground his brother's face into the wall.

"No way!"

"SAY IT!"

"Fine! I'll name all my nonexistent children Raphael! Happy!"

Raphael released him. "Not really. You're never going to have kids, so what's the point."

They stared at each other awkwardly, rubbing their injuries. Leonardo said, "Want to go play on the 4-wheeler?"

"Yeah, okay."

Raphael and Leonardo left together as if they hadn't said a word to each other.

Donatello smiled contentedly as the sound of voices drifted down the sewer corridor and silence filled the room. Glorious, golden silence.

_The Catacombs of Palermo are full of secrets and also some of the best preserved mummies in the world._ Wait a minute. He's already read that part. _Her skin is porcelain._ He'd already read about Rosalia too. Donatello felt his legs growing restless and stood up, stretched and stood in the middle of the room looking around thinking. Was he going to do something? It seemed like he'd stood up for a reason. He'd get something to eat.

Heavy, muted silence.

Tuna. Butter. Captain Crunch. Ramen soup. That was it?

He stood in the middle of the room, thinking. He was about to do something when he'd decided to look for food. What was it? Whatever. He'd just keep reading.

_Extravagant grave goods, poses and clothing were used as status symbols for the dead. _That sounded familiar. He put the book down again and looked around, trying to figure out what he was forgetting and why he was so uncomfortable.

Unbearable, oppressive silence.

The silence rang in his ears like a loud, pressing force. He turned on the radio and turned it up until it filled the whole room and rang off the walls. Ah, that was it. He sat down and resumed the book.


End file.
